Life in the 50s

Holy shit! I need to get to the Holiday break. My wife needs to go on break too. She's working her ass off. We just need time to relax and recharge. My body battery on my Garmin hit 100 overnight because I took care of myself. I relaxed on the couch. Even though I worked in the barn past 10 pm last night, I was so calm and at peace.  Thankfully, the weather is supposed to get really warm on Christmas and the day after. I cannot wait to go running. One of those days, I will likely run 5-6 miles.  This morning, I weighed 185.6! Down .08 pounds. I'm still eating junk, just less of it. I have a bottle of water each night. Exercise has become a daily thing for me. 

 Late November through early January is my Season of Grief . In 2009 , which is so long ago, my Dad passed away from cardiac arrest on January 5. He had suffered from diabetes for the last decade of his life. Mom took such good care of him.  In 2017, my Mom had a stroke in April. I moved home to be her primary caregiver. She had multiple UTIs before eventually passing away in hospice care at The Laurels in Massillon . The day after Thanksgiving in 2017,  she was admitted to the hospital for the final time with a UTI . She was unconscious for several days until her doctor recommended she go into hospice because nothing more could be done. She was semi-conscious the next morning, which was her first on morphine . She said "I love you" to her brother and gave me lots of kisses.  Mom eventually passed away on Friday, December 8th at 6:30. Her funeral was on the 14th.  So, Mom's slow decline and then Dad's passing are bookends of grief over the holidays.  It ...

The jackpot for tonight's Powerball drawing is one-billion dollars . I bought tickets. If I won, I would quit my job immediately. No question. I would text one of my co-workers first, Tricia, before I text my boss, Kelly.  I would split the money with my wife so she could quit.  Then, I would pay off our house, our arena, my personal loan for the shelter we had built on our property. I would trade in both of my cars and buy a really nice hybrid Rav-4. I would buy Claire her own car.  Kim and I would also make massive improvements to our house and barn.  I would donate money to BGSU, to the Radio Sports club. I would donate money to the Career-Tech program at Kent State University. I would donate money to the Massillon Tiger Swing Band. I would donate money to the Massillon Tigers football team. All of these entities have meant so much to me and my family. I want to pay it back and pay it forward.  I wanted to make sure I had this saved somewhere to refer to it ...

Last night marked 8 years since my Mom passed away. It still doesn't seem real. I love in Mogadore and when I drive to Massillon , I have this weird thought that I will see Mom. And she's just not there. I sold and moved out of Mom's house. The old neighborhood is there. It's just not the same.  I never thought life after Mom would be like this. Missing her phone calls. Missing silly simple things like going to get an ice cream cone . Of course, I miss her during the holidays but the simple phone calls to ask how I was doing, checking up on me....yeah, I miss this the most.  There's a saying:   you never know how great a tree is until you chop it down .  This is Mom. Still, years after her passing, she gets greater.  Everyday that adds to the count of the days since she passed is a day shorter until we meet again.  

With the current cold weather we have in Ohio , my feet have started their annual cracking. My heels and big toes have cracks in them that hurt like hell. They don't bleed but it feels like someone is cutting my feet up with a knife. I used Vaseline Sensitive Skin lotion on my feet. It's cooling and provides temporary relief.  Not my feet... When I get stressed, I chew and pick my fingernails. I hate myself for doing this. I do this so the physical pain helps cope with the internal, psychological pain that I deal with in handling stress. My current stress right now is from my job. And it's impacting me. My Garmin watch says my stress levels are high, like at 100 during the work day.  I hope I can get some relief from this stress at some point. ;) 

I'm 55 years old. I treasure sleep. I love an occasional afternoon couch nap on the weekends. Sometimes, in the middle of the week, I will be wide awake well before my alarm goes off. Today was one of those days.  I was awake at 4:30. I heard the dog shake herself. So, I thought I should just get up. I took the dog out.  And then I went on my 1.15 mile walk and lifted weight in the basement for 8 minutes!  I don't feel tired at all right now.  I feel energized . I think it's because I'm not letting certain situations dominate my life and mindset. I am optimistic for the future.  I will write more about the future around this time in January. ;) 

I have worked several jobs since high school! And I have friendships from each job. WHBC AM:  Doug Lane, my former boss. WAKC TV 23:  Tim Coffey, Mark Williamson, Phil Ferguson, Linda White, and several others.  WJER FM:  Chris Keppler, Paula Wilcoxon, Denny Trimmer Shaker Heights High School:  Mike Sears Aurora High School:  Doc Munson, Tim Bazcowski, Heidi McKenzie, and many others University of Toledo:  Amy Capwell-Burns, Jeff Wilkinson, Lisa Bollman, and several others Hiram College:  Mike and Mallory Kobak, Dave Kukurza, Jenelle Bayus, and several others. I bring this up because I have made great relationships everywhere I have been. I am so proud to know so many great people.  I have applied for jobs where I have used references from several jobs ago. How cool is that?